Gender Discrimination

     As a pregnant woman is due for delivery, close relatives and people in her environment are thinking about the gender of her unborn child. The pressure placed on the woman by the people around her will make the poor woman pray for a male child all her life. Even though, her husband is not seeing things in that direction.
           Our society has put more attention on male child than female child. If you haven’t given birth to a male child, you have not given birth, as if the pain during the labour is easy. As if the pains during labour of a male child is more tasking when compared to that of a female child.
          Then to talk of when the woman eventually delivers her baby, one question is often asked as the news of the new born child is announced, What is the sex? Is it a boy or a girl? Almost everybody is guilty of asking this question. People even ask this question unconsciously because it has become a norm for congratulating the mother before thanking God for the safe delivery. What about how loud the shout of joy for a male child’s news is to that of female child’s.
          Why is society placing too much pressure on a poor woman on what is not in her power to determine? Why making one sex feel lower to the other? What good does gender discrimination have on the society? Have we ever thought of the side effects to the society?
          Despite the high level of education in our society today, this gender discrimination has not stopped at all. Women have no power to create and form the sex she wants her baby to be. Whatever sex she gives birth to is determined by men, so why the pressure on her? The effect that it has on the society today is yet to be linked together and it is called “Violence”. Just because whatever society breeds today is the outcome of training given by the parents to each person in the society.
          The training that is given to children should be equal. House chores aren’t meant for female children alone, parents need to balance this among their children. There should not be female indoor chores and men outdoor work, don’t make your female children feel lower than their brothers. Let them see themselves as friends,supporters and team mates not as competitors and don’t create room for subordinate to superior relationship.
          What we are getting today is different. Parents claim to train their male children to be  strong by permitting them from doing house chores. They give them the mentality of “African Man” (Your woman is to do all house chores without you helping her. Your job is to provide for the family).
          You train him to be a man and not a caring father, You train him to be a man not a caring husband. You train him to be a strong man by stopping him from crying and encouraging him to bottle his emotions. Forgetting that you are making him dead to his emotion, making him go about being bitter. The negative energy that he ought to let out, he held it to his body forming a strong man to people and himself.
          The body can’t be separated from our emotions and that is why when the negative energy is being held in the body, it makes them to get easily frustrated, transferring aggression on his wife and children, even some attempting suicide. Is that how to be a strong man? Teach him to release the negative energy, cry it out in his closet of he has to.
          Don’t cry for sympathy and for mockers to see. Cry to feel settled and calm so as to know the next step to take. When you hold it back, you’ll be dealing with the frustration instead of moving to the next level immediately you have cried it out.
          It all starts from the irrational belief of people around us placing too much interest on male children. Then the special training and treatment being given to the male children in the family to be more stronger than his sisters. The outcome is violence against women by their husbands, violence against children by their fathers.
          Where are you guilty? Are you the one that is waiting for “He’s a bouncing baby boy news”? Are you one of the parents that differentiate the female’s

house duties from that of the male’s? Let us check where we need to correct the mistakes of our parents and the society. Violence never started now, it has been the preference of one sex to the other and the family training differentiation between the two sexes.

When Emotion takes charge…

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       In a commercial bus one hot afternoon, a good looking woman was sitting beside me with her little son sitting on her laps. We exchanged pleasantries with a big smile on her face. She as well contributed intelligently to discussion that was raised in that bus that people were able to interact happily.
As the vehicle moved closely to where she will alight, she stopped the bus driver but because of the speed the driver was on, he couldn’t stop the bus at that instant. Suddenly, the once calm woman with a big smile on her face a while ago turned to an aggressive person in a twinkle of an eye, shouting at the driver, “Are you deaf? Don’t you understand the meaning of stop? Do you expect me to trek back to where I supposed to alight now?”
 The bus driver was shocked at the way the woman was insulting him because of a slight mistake. He was exchanging words with her initially until it got to the point of paying the man the fare, the woman gave him lesser than the agreed fare. As the driver insisted on collecting the agreed fare, other passengers advised the bus driver to leave her, she is a troublesome woman, some of the passengers said.
I tried putting myself in this woman’s shoe, pondering in my mind if truly she really was troublesome? Did she fake the smile and her intelligent contributions to the conversation a while ago? I flashed back to the day I did something similar to what the woman did, I regretted every bit of my action that day.
Sincerely, she blew the whole situation out of proportion but at the same time, such attitude does not necessarily mean  she is stubborn or being troublesome, It’s FRUSTRATION.
Many a time,  we allow ugly situations we pass through get the better of us, and this often lead to collapse of relationship with good people we may just meet and give a wrong impression about us.
 Majority of the people in the bus that day won’t understand that this woman acted that way because she was frustrated  which led to transferring aggression to the driver.
There are lots of issues to get angry on,  if we always do things according to how our emotions lead us. Let us always learn to be the presiding officer over our emotions at every moment because first impression they say, last forever.
 You don’t have the idea of what you can lose if you allow your emotions to control you in a split second not to talk of a minute or longer. It could be contract, trust, friendship, help and even more that you can think of, avoid being controlled by your emotions.
Sometimes, it forces to proof itself over you. Try breathing in, take a very deep breath or deep breaths, be calm and let it go. You may feel bad for not responding at that particular moment, you will appreciate it for the rest of your life for not making a fool of yourself.
Always, take charge of your emotions.

My Superstitious Belief Experience

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As the rain was falling heavily, the usual things that always happen while it rains happened and I did the unusual involuntarily through what I can call superstitious belief. Reminiscing on what has made this action get registered in my brain, I realised that whenever there is lightening anytime it rains, my mum use to make a particular sound with her mouth.
Inquisitively, I asked her one day after I have taken note of this action severally why she normally does it. She replied that “After lightening thunder follows right? The belief is, to reduce the power of the sound of the thunder or it effects, you must make that sound with your folded lips. This belief got registered in my brain in a way that as grown as I am today, I do it involuntarily anytime it rains.

There are a lot of superstitious beliefs I had grown to believe but just one out of many I still do involuntarily today. I would have ended up believing all but thankfully I grabbed a book that enlightened me the more on superstitions. It’s on interpretation and the meaning of superstitious beliefs. The book told me the meaning of each superstition that  I  had grown to believe innocently.

As parents, aunts, sisters, family and friends, what we input into children’s head matters a lot especially when they get it from their parents. They stick to it even till death, if care is not taken. And the worst part is, this irrational beliefs arising from ignorance is being transferred to their children. That is how it goes from one generation to many generations believing it.

Most people are affected with this beliefs unknowingly today. The most popular one that is recently being talked about is the issue of “Female Genital mutilation. Although, it is linked to religion and traditional/Cultural reasons. But after I went on my own findings, I realised that it’s also superstition that has led to Female Genital Mutilation.

 

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How can one believe that not cutting her daughter’s genital can lead to her being promiscuous? Where is that coming from? Did they carry out any research to discover this or is it medically proven? Who originated this belief? Those are the questions I kept asking myself. The answer i’m left with is, being promiscuous can be a thing of choice. It’s a decision you make its either been caused by psychological reasons or whichever to satisfy your sexual urge.

There are reasons that can lead to this like; Depression as in: Emotional or mental disorder, Victim of sexual assault, Low-self Esteem, Anxiety issues and the list goes on. How can psychological roots of a behaviour be related to cutting of the female genital? It’s after the research I concluded that this belief was originated from an individual’s idea that tried to scare parents in order to train their children from not being promiscuous. The only way to achieve this is to put the fear of cutting of female genital in their minds. Then it became what they made everybody believe ignorantly just like we are all fooled with other superstitions till date.

 

Do you know the century that this belief had been originated, that turned to something real difficult to stop today? Do you know that this condemned and false belief/practice was passed from one generation to another because of what parents in the past fed their children’s mind with? People aren’t ready to understand by researching and getting more knowledge about false beliefs they’ve grown up with.

Are you still deceived with a lot of superstitions that is turning to reality today? Ask questions, make your research, get the good understanding about whatever you are confused with, and don’t forget to comment your own experience with superstitions just as I have enlightened you with mine.

 

 

Words for Her

Michelle: Not now mum. Is it everyday you have to talk about this to me?

Mum: (jokingly). That’s the truth girl, your flat tummy won’t allow the dress I got for you look so smart on your body. You know, sometimes I found it so difficult to get clothes for you. You know why? Because it won’t just fit in. (Laughing) 

Michelle: Tell me mum, what can I do to make this tummy look moderate like other girls out there so that my dress can fit in well? It sucks (sobbing). 

Mum: Maybe when you start eating well, your tummy will start getting in shape. 

Michelle: I have eaten to the constipation level, I can’t just deal with this anymore…..

I remember having this kind of conversation with my mum when I was little. Sometimes ago just like Michelle’s mum, mum used to joke about my body shape. She was concerned as a mother seeing her daughter looking starved. When a child is not looking chubby, Mothers always feel concerned like they are not doing their job of feeding the child well. I’m sure mothers can relate with this.

Her concern as a mother pointed out where Michelle concentrated on as dislike about her shape. There are lots of ways words spoken to us will make one

feel ugly no matter how beautiful you look. You know why, because we always allow Those words to make us and break us into pieces.

The problem did not start from the fact that Michelle’s mum spoke about her body, but how she took it. What we feed our minds determine our outlook and attitude to situations around us. It’s actually what she should have bragged about because it is what most ladies are spending money on today, but she decided to take it as what makes her ugly.

The reason why people spend so much money and attention on flat tummy today starts from someone who made good use of what they have pointed as bad and ugly to her. It is normal to hear a lot of comments from people, it can be in form of criticism either constructive or either ways. The power to listen, observe and turn the weakness to strength is the power you have, use it.

It is not always about being beautiful, it’s about making what you have look beautiful on you and you’ll see yourself looking more beautiful already. Always remember that the power to turn your weaknesses into your strength and make living beautiful for yourself is in your hands.

JUST LIKE THE SUN

Nursery rhymes among other wonderful things call children’s attention closer to school. I love nursery rhymes so much too, I can still recite some even till date. There are two nursery rhymes that I can never forget cause it’s popularly sung all over the continents. No adult that has passed through childhood will find it difficult to relate with this.

It’s sung:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
There’s another one like it too:
I see the moon,
And the moon sees me.
God bless the moon,
And God bless me.
 Wherever you find yourself in the world singing this poem, it’s like re-connection of childhood days. One thing that baffles me about “Sunrise”, it’s poem is not popularly sung as these two. Another thing is, whenever we talk about being famous and well-known in future, we refer to star “I can be a star”. I kept asking why not being a Sun, is it because we can’t look up at sun for seconds, minutes and hours like Moon and stars? Can it be because we can’t even stand under it for so long like we normally play in the night under the moon?
 Then I got myself the answers to my questions; Even if people found it so difficult to look up to the sunrise while shining, though, we could not stay under it for so long as we do under the moon and stars. If the poem composed for the Sunrise is not as popular as that of Moon and stars, it comes out each day and shines brighter than yesterday. My answer tells me that Sunrise is it own CHEERLEADER, so we supposed to be.
Cheerleader rules, guides and inspires others to do more. He/she is an Enthusiastic and vocal supporter for others’ Morale to be boosted. Imagine putting all these characteristics together for yourself, you will never have time to worry and feel bad for what people feel about you. When life shows you its other side, it will never defeat you.
When you are your cheerleader JUST LIKE THE SUN, you will not wait for anyone to boost your morale and clap for you on what you do before you are happy with yourself.
Be your own cheerleader by doing this:
1. Inspire yourself: speak motivation words to yourself every morning. Tell yourself what you will hear from the one you love most that will make you happy. Don’t wait till the person tell you before you are happy for the day.
2. Boost your Morale: Tell yourself that you can do it, believe what you say to yourself, inhale it. Tell yourself that you are stronger, richer, more beautiful than yesterday. Confession is Possession.
3. Be Enthusiastic with what you do: be happy with what you do, find it so interesting to do. Be more connected with the interesting part of what you do and close your mind at the discourage side of it. It’s good to compensate yourself on what you do. Buy something good for you, take yourself out to appreciate what you are doing for yourself. With this, you’ll be happy with what you do.
4. Be your own supporter, don’t wait for anyone to be your vocal supporter because that same person can tear you apart tomorrow, be careful.
This will increase your self-confidence, self-worth, self-respect and self-love as you do it everyday. Not cheering yourself up with this Four qualities can reduce your 4-Self (Self-Love, Self-Worth, Self-Respect and Self-Confidence)  or you can lose all if care is not taken. Even as you aspire to be a STAR, never forget to be your own cheerleader JUST LIKE THE SUN.